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Proving That God Exists

I know I am known for being a vocal atheist, but the other night I realized the proof for God that I just can’t deny. Now I know that God really does exist. So today I will show you this proof and see if anyone can disprove it.

I was able to touch God, see him, and when I tipped him over, I could hear his contents spilling out. God was very physical and looked a lot like a teapot. In fact God was a teapot. You see, I simply redefined the term God to mean teapot and then it became very clear that God was real.

Would anyone really claim that teapots are imaginary? Of course not, we can see them, touch them, hear them, pour from them, etc. But we can’t just redefine the term God and then prove our personal concept to be true, right?

This is exactly what so many Christians and other believers do. They aren’t talking about the Biblical God at all. Instead, they redefine the Biblical God to mean whatever they think they can worship with a good conscience and call that God. This is what Deepak Chopra did during the Nightline Debate and Sam Harris called him out on it. But this really goes deeper that Deepak.

I submit to you that there is not a Christian today who believes in the God described in the Bible. Not a one. Instead, modern Christians have redefined God to be something that is more palatable to their sensibilities. Just like I redefined God to be a teapot, modern Christians redefine God to fit their own sensibilities and then call that the God of the Bible.

In this way they can attempt to “prove” that God exists. But what are they really attempting to prove? The fact is that the God of the Bible is fiction and no amount of redefining is going to change that.

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  • Garrick McElroy

    “I submit to you that there is not a Christian today who believes in the God described in the Bible. Not a one.”


    I dunno… The Westboro Baptist Church might.

    • http://www.dangeroustalk.net Staks

      No, they haven’t stoned anyone to my knowledge. They are way too liberal.

  • Harmonika Savingsbonds

    They live to pick and choose what they want to believe.

    Christians have made their god like Santa Claus, because they would actually sh_t if they had to accept that old testament motherf_cker that the more intelligent religions are on the same page with. That’s why a wimp like jesus is totally useless in this self-created War on Terror.

    “Deeper than Deepak.” May I use that?

  • http://dogmaticatheist.wordpress.com A-Dizzle

    If you ever watch the Atheist Experience TV show (http://www.atheist-experience.com/), every time a believer calls in and talks about god, the very first question the hosts ask is “Define god”. I think this plays exactly to what you are saying, god is defined by each believer.

    • PaigeB

      Just ask them to which god they refer and then let them babble their WooWoo – they can dig their own holes. (punny!)

  • Rick Miller

    There are non-believing theologians. They’re the worst moving-goalpost artists.