DangerousTalk

America has a real prison problem and I have the perfect solution. You might even say that it was divinely inspired… because I got the idea from the Bible. I think we should let everyone in the prisons go and I’ll take their place. I will serve a trillion year sentence so that everyone else can go free. I will sacrifice my freedom so that all who believe in me should be set free.

Let all the murderers, rapists, pedophiles, serial killers, terrorists, thieves, etc. all go free. I as an innocent person will take their place behind bars. Sounds like a great plan, right? It should sound like a great plan. It was after all God’s plan.

Now some people might think that if we let all these criminals go, they will just go back to a life of crime, but that will be their choice. They have free will after all. Besides, all they have to do is ask me to serve their sentence again with a sincere heart and all will be forgiven. It is my gift, my sacrifice for America.

Now of course this is a really stupid idea. But it is after all right out of the Bible. In fact, most Christians claim that it is the central message of the Bible. All humans according to the Bible are evil sinners who deserve eternal torture in Hell, but because God loves us so much, he sent his son to take our place on the cross so that we could avoid eternal torture in Hell. Jesus doesn’t even have to take our place in Hell, just on the cross. So maybe I shouldn’t have to spend my life in prison after all. I should just take these criminals place on sentencing day. Maybe spend three days in prison (Jesus after all was alleged to have only spent three days in Hell, right?). This deal is getting better and better all the time.

I will be the savior to millions of criminals and I only have to go to their brutal sentencing and spend three days in prison. Some how though I don’t think any judge in the country will go for this Biblical deal. It is after all completely ridiculous!

Filed under: blood sacrifice, Judge God, Religion, sin