Home myspace Dangerous Store Picture Gallery Listen Contact YouTube

Current Columns

Common Sense

Atheist Extremists
about the columnist...

Silent Steve's Stories

Our Father, Who Art in Our Wallets
about the columnist...

The Way of the Atheist

The Irony of "Islamo-Fascism Awareness Week"
about the columnist...

Secular Spice

Atheism Aside: Separation Supporters Should Seek Solidarity
about the columnist...

A Modest Proposal

"Response to Michael Gerson"
about the columnist...

Geekology 101

"It's Hard Out Here For A Model, Yo!"
about the columnist...

The Religious Middle

"On Being 'Born Again': Clarification of a Controversial Phenomenon."
about the columnist...

Archived Columns


Geekology 101


Action Comics

"It's Hard Out Here For A Model, Yo!"

by Kasey Poteet

I am the worst model in the history of the world.

It's not that I can't turn out a decent pic or two (hell, ANYBODY can, thanks to all the make-up, lighting, airbrushing, etc. used in conjunction with photography these days). It's just that I am so freaking BORED by it, and I have no qualms about letting the people I work with know just how boring it is to me (which can make for some VERY un-fun shoots, I'm afraid).

Don't get me wrong: I know that when someone's putting up cash to have their product displayed, I need to do my best to make that product look appealing. And, if I happen to be posing naked, somehow that makes things a LOT more interesting for me (shut up!! I'm a sexual person, and I think the human body is one of the most beautiful things in the world alright?!! ;) The gigs I have the biggest issues with, though, are the typical "pretty girl" gigs. Y'know...The ones where there's not really a product, per se, and you aren't allowed to get naked (dammit!). Basically, they're designed to "tease" their targeted audience and attract attention without inadvertently offending our uptight, overly-censored society. They can produce sexy shots, sure, but generally they're way too safe and sanitized, in my opinion. And I REALLY suck at those types of "safe" (read: bland), generic "sexy girl" jobs. Try as I might, I will never see myself as a "pretty girl". And, even if I did, I can't imagine that I'd have any sort of fun striking cheesy, overdone, "gee, ain't I sexy" pics for the camera.

Please understand that I'm not trying to put down on my beautiful model buds and peers, by any means. Many of them seem to enjoy their job very much, and are very, very good at it. I admire their work and their beauty. But, I just don't get why it's so fucking important to so many people, especially non-models. You wouldn't believe how many people tell me I'm their hero/role model/whatever based solely on my silly pics. I appreciate the sentiment, but why the fuck would you look up to ANYBODY based solely upon their ability to look hot in front of a camera?

I guess part of the reason I don't understand why so many people idolize models is because I witness the "ugly" side of beautiful women every single day. I see how superficial so many of them are, and that, unfortunately, a lot of them really don't seem to think that there's anything wrong with that. After all, they're paid retardedly well to look beautiful. Why wouldn't they start thinking that was the most important thing in life? Why wouldn't they look down on others that don't put as much time or money into their outward appearance as they do?

I almost never fit in at group shoots. More often than not, the other girls are busy talking about clothes, make-up, designers, etc. etc. Oy!! Can you say, "B-o-r-i-n-g", boys and girls? No offense, model chicks, but I could not give a fuck less whose label is on your overpriced purse/shoes/whatever. It doesn't matter to me AT ALL!!! You wanna kill time by talking about shit that doesn't really matter? Fine...At least make it interesting, please. Let's talk about the Nascar points race or the fucking Green Bay game last week (how fucking hilarious was that, btw?!!) Or, if you wanna hang out during our off time, PLEASE invite me to do something besides shop. IT'S SO BORING!!! (Unless you wanna shop for comics or sex toys or something non-clothes related...Then I'm right there with ya, baby!! ;)

Maybe it's just my geeky roots that make me a bad model, or oblivious to why so many people give a rat's ass about the world of modeling. (If I'd grown up as one of those normal "pretty girls", I'd probably be more apt to care about clothes and shit over comics and video games, right?) Or, maybe it's because I will always feel like the Ugly Duckling that I can't make myself care about typical model shit. After the hell I went through as an "ugly girl" in my formative years (more about that in another article, I'm sure ;), I realize all too well that beauty is a completely arbitrary concept. And, frustratingly, the beauty ideal in our society is ALWAYS changing, making us forever doubt ourselves and unhealthily compare ourselves to the people setting the standards at the moment.

I really wish it were only the women involved in the modeling world that felt this constant need to place so much value on appearance. At least we can semi-justify it as being part of our jobs. But, alas, I know that the need to be the thinnest/most beautiful/whatever affects so many women of all walks of life (which is the only reason I can come up with to explain why non-models so often idolize models). Many girls I know place all their self-worth on whether or not they're considered "sexy", and it's so sad to me. That's why I'm working to help women and girls growing up now realize that there are a lot more important, rewarding (and fun!!) things in life than trying to be the hottest chick on the block. And, while I think it's perfectly acceptable to admire the art a model produces, assuming they're better or more important than other people simply because they are paid to be attractive is really quite silly.

So, as I strive to get younger girls to realize that a model's occupation doesn't automatically mean they're special, I'll keep doing my stupid boring modeling gigs and make my stupid money. After all, I'm only young enough to take advantage of this stupid profession for a stupidly short amount of time. But you can rest assured that as soon as I'm done with my next boring-ass "gee, ain't I cute" photo shoot I will NOT be going shopping or to get a facial or some other stupidly dull thing. Instead, I'll be breaking out the wakeboard or the Xbox and having some REAL fun!! After all, isn't gaming and extreme sports what life's REALLY supposed to be about? ;)

Thanks for letting me vent, homies. Fuck the pimps...It's hard out here for a model. ;)

Love you guys. Peace.

©2006 Staks Studios

ButtonGenerator.com