Defriended for Disbelief
There have been quite a few people who have told me that valued friends and family members have defriended them on one of the many social networking sites like facebook or myspace because they posted atheistic opinions.
While I am pretty open about my lack of belief in ancient superstitions, I do have some theistic friends and family particularly on facebook. I don’t really want to offend them by telling them that their deeply held superstitious beliefs are bronze-aged fiction that is holding the entire human race back and threatening the freedoms, happiness, and very survival of all of humankind. However, I post a link to my blog entries on my facebook anyway. Sometimes when an old friend or family member adds me as a friend on facebook, I have to think about whether or not they will be offended by the things that I post.
When I stop to think about it, it really does seem ridiculous to me that I spend time considering whether I should or should not express my opinion on such an important subject matter out of fear that someone I care about will be offended. This especially seems ridiculous to me in light of the fact that many of these religious people who I care deeply about have zero problem posting overly religious stuff and I doubt very much that they stop for half a second at all to even consider that they might be offending me or someone else on their friend list who doesn’t share their ridiculous beliefs.
Not to worry religious friends, I am not so easily offended but the point is that in general, I doubt that they even consider my sensibilities into their religious posting. It seems that atheists are much more aware, thoughtful, and considerate when we self-censor ourselves for the benefit of our religious friends and family members.
Still, even though I think we ought not to self-censor ourselves and that we should express our opinions, thoughts, and criticisms openly I too struggle with this issue. Do I add my religious cousin as a friend? Do I accept the add of an uncle who may or may not be religious? How about that old college friend?
The fact is that not all atheists are as open as I am and even I struggle with these issues. It really comes down to a personal judgment call. But for the most part, I add who I want to add and if someone adds me, I generally accept them. If they get offended by the stuff that I post, then they will either start a conversation about it or they will defriend me.
I welcome the conversation and do my best to keep these discussions civil, polite, and friendly. If they defriend me on facebook, that doesn’t mean that we can’t still be friends in the real world. And relatives will always be relatives regardless of whether we are facebook friends or not.
Filed under: conversation, discussion, facebook, People of Reason, Religion, responsibility
