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American’s Next Top Stupid Republican

The Republicans really do need a game show. It used to be that Republicans just had a token stupid person in office like former Vice-President Dan Quayle but that just wasn’t stupid enough. So then the Republicans elected America’s stupidest President, George W. Bush. Some Republicans however claimed that Bush Jr. was actually a secret genius who was just playing stupid. This is a pretty stupid belief and most Americans didn’t really buy that one anyway. At least there was some desire on the Republican Party to claim intellect at least.

More recently, the Republican Party gave us the Vice Presidential candidate and former Alaskan Governor Sarah Palin. Her rise to prominence was based on being twice as religious and twice as stupid as our former President George W. Bush. She is so stupid that in the same speech in which she announced that she was quitting the position of Governor, she insisted that she was not a quitter. She’s so stupid that she thought strong foreign policy experience meant that she could see Russia from her house… interestingly enough, it wasn’t Russia she saw from her house it was an Obama sign on her neighbor’s lawn. Fortunately, Mrs. Death Panels’ fifteen minutes of fame seems to be nearing its end.

But then we have the new crop of elected Republican idiots. Congresswoman Michelle Bachmann is desperately trying to be the next Sarah Palin. It started when she insinuated that there are anti-American people serving in our government, but more recently she stated that the best way to defeat health care reform is to pray and fast. But that wasn’t dumb enough, so then she wanted Republicans to come together and slit their wrists as some kind of blood oath to stop health care reform. Don’t worry, she’s not advocating suicide, she’s just dumb.

I could go on, but we have to get to our next contestant, Governor Bobby Jindal who came to fame by telling the American people that money going to research when volcano’s could erupt was a waste. It didn’t take long before that money saved a lot more money and lives. The evils of science I guess. But Jindal’s stupidity isn’t so much what he says, but what he has done. By his own account, in college he and some friends held a girl down, restrained her, and exorcised her demons. I wonder whether his demons were exorcised that night as well… wink wink.

But those are just the actual elected officials. The fact is that there is a whole spin off game show for the pundits. It used to be that Rush Limbaugh said the stupidest and craziest things despite that fact that he probably isn’t all that stupid, but just says these things to get attention. But then along came Sean Hannity to give Rush a run for his money with similar nonsense. Despite Hannity’s attempt to be American’s Next Top Craziest Republican Pundit, he never really got into the game. Bill O’Reilly on the other hand made a serious run for the top spot of pinhead of the week.

Then along came Glen Beck. While on the radio, Beck was the most sane of the lot, but put a camera in front of the man and all hell breaks loose. Now even Time Magazine has declared Beck the winner of the loony bin asylum. From evil left wing conspiracies to repeatedly crying for America on the air, Beck knocks it out of the park. The man calls President Barack Obama a racist and then says that he don’t think Obama hates white people in the same sentence.

Of course, the politicians and the pundits are just two thirds of the stupid and insane Republican Party. Trinity of stupidity is complete when you add the Republican base. All you have to do is watch some of these townhall events and the 9-12 rally in D.C. to see just how stupid the Republican base really is. Then there are the “Teabaggers.” For the record these mostly homophobia people called themselves that name. Perhaps they did not do a google search on the term, “Teabagger.” I think they would be quite surprised to find out what pops up. From the Birthers to the Teabaggers the Republican base may need their own spin off game show called, “America’s Got Stupid.”

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  • http://poweressence.com/ Maxwell Jennings

    And you can’t fix stupid.

  • http://www.myspace.com/itsahicke Her3tiK

    “We should never, ever be mean to stupid people. If we do, they might go away. Then who will we laugh at?”

    At least most of them are so old they’ll probably die of age within the next decade. And they forget to factor in the air force when talking about armed revolution and civil war.

  • Z

    thanks for the laugh! Although I’m sure it would be a lot less funny if it weren’t so true. Which isn’t funny at all.

    By the way – that guy who held a girl down and “exorcised her demons”? Did he ever get prosecuted for that?

    • http://www.dangeroustalk.net Staks

      Lol, NO! He’s the Governor of Louisiana and one of the top Republican contenders for the 2012 Presidential campaign. I can’t wait to see the primary debate between him, Palin, Bachmann, and who knows who else. I’m telling you, this shit needs to be a Reality Show.

  • Kat

    Glenn Beck is the craziest,I give you that.. he needs a straight jacket and a rubber room, but Michelle Bachmann is the scariest, she actually holds office.
    Here are some of her latest delusions:

    “I find it interesting that it was back in the 1970s that the swine flu broke out then under another Democrat president Jimmy Carter. And I’m not blaming this on President Obama, I just think it’s an interesting coincidence.”
    Actually it was Republican Gerald Ford, not Carter

    “We just heard last week that the federal government, now under the Obama administration, is calling for a reordering of America‘s food supply. What‘s that going to mean? Now will the White House decide how many calories we consume or what types of foods we consume?”

    She‘s talking about the Food Safety Enhancement Act of 2009, which, quote, “sets forth provisions governing the reorganization of food and drug administration field laboratories and district offices.” So they can better inspect our food, especially the imported food.

    It scares me that this idiot actually has a vote and there are people out there that actually voted FOR her.
    What kind of nutjobs are THEY?

  • John

    LOL! You nitwit, you exorcise demons, you exercise muscles.

    It’s funny, you keep trying to feel smugly self important by claiming to be smarter than everyone else and accuse Bush of being the stupidest President ever, but I don’t remember Bush ever thanking himself because “the teleprompter told him to” or turning around in the middle of presenting the signing ceremony for his own executive order to ask someone else what it said. Face it Staks bigotry is ugly, and you’d best yourself.

    • http://www.dangeroustalk.net Staks

      No body’s perfect. I fixed the error. Bush never fixed his, but that is another story for another day. Do you really think Bush was a secret genius? While Obama may read his speeches from a teleprompter, you might be surprised to know that he does most of his own speech writing. Most Presidents haven’t done that before. Plus, I am not an Obama apologist. I have been pretty critical of our current President.

      • Mr. X

        Palin can’t even say “NEW-CLEAR” (spelled, “NUKULAR”) correctly without a teleprompter. I think I can forgive Staks for (just barely) misspelling a three-syllable double-entendre.

  • http://www.myspace.com/DD_NU4EVER Diana

    Funny, that your past several blogs have been issues that have been on my mind lately…

    I just wrote a silly little blog the other day…nothing grand, just regurgitating some funny stuff I read and some observations I made. Well, my aunty, who I love dearly, replied:

    “I am so dumb. I really don’t understand what you are trying to say in this blog. I believe that there is a god. I believe in the word of the bible. I believe that currently we are living the book of Revelatations. I believe that our current president is the Anti-Christ. I believe we only have 7 years left on this earth. What does it hurt to believe in a god? Play it safe and Believe, have faith. I believe if every one did believe in God then the world would be a much better place to live. His word promotes brotherly luv no matter who/what you are regardless of your sexuality. How could that be wrong? I luv you Diane.”

    My name is DIANA, not diane

    I haven’t replied back…I don’t want to correct her, or say anything that will jeopardize our relationship…but this is a taste of the Republican bass…it tastes horrible!

    I want to correct her sooooo bad! I think I might, and then I’ll feel horrible and my wedding is in three weeks….this could make it really weird…

    • http://www.dangeroustalk.net Staks

      Maybe she should have been worried about jeopardizing your relationship. Why does that burden have to fall on you. She started it. I think you should let her know that.

    • Mr. X

      That’s “Republican base”, not “Republican bass”. Y’know, since it matters…

      • http://www.myspace.com/DD_NU4EVER Diana

        Weird thing is, I told myself that bass is a fish while I was writing it…but I ignored that because I too busy feeling guilty for making an example out of someone I love. I was just so blown away by her comment…I needed the wisdom of Staks, Scott and Mr. X. :P

    • http://myspace.com/scott888 Scott

      Wow, that is insanity. Well, when I did orientation for my new job at K-Mart (I worked there before so everyone knew me). The HR person revealed to me that during that three year gap where I never saw him, he got his leg amputated. I hardly believed it at first since he just walked to the front of the store with me to show me how to punch in and back just moments ago. So my first half hour on the clock ended up being him explaining to me the story of what happened to his leg.

      Eventually at some point, he revealed that he was given the suggestion to talk to a psychologist but he refused to do that because he had a relationship with God. He told me God got him thru this whole amputation thing. Then he said his church raised several thousand dollars to pay for his prosthetic leg.

      Anyhow, I am a good listener so I got paid to listen to his story. But I didn’t comment on his beliefs. My atheist is fairly hidden in real life. I only plan on working K-Mart a few months so I am not going to make any issues considering he hired me when the store wasn’t hiring and had enough people thru Christmas.

      As for your Aunt, that is just unbelievable. Nobody has ever told me that they actually believe revelations is happening right now, minus Claire whom used to post Illuminati and anti-Christ warnings on Stak’s myspace blog.

      Well, I went to your page and read your blog. You had a very good logical response but I suspect it would overwhelm your aunt.

      I began using my facebook page as a propaganda tool to spread knowledge.

      The other night I made a post telling people to look south as dusk because Jupiter is in the sky. Then I explained the significance of it. We would not exist without Jupiter because it protects us from many impacts, during the period of heavy bombardment it thru comets or carbon asteroids at us, giving us water. And Jupiter tugged at the planet Thea until it was in Earth’s orbit and smashed into us and gave Earth a large core (Thea’s core merged with Earth’s) with a thinner mantle allowing for plate tectonics. Without plate tectonics, the carbon cycle is shut down which puts us on a course of global warming to become another Venus and without continental movement, there would be less elevation variety leaving most of the world underwater. Also, the debris accreted into the moon which is essential to us as well. Without the moon, our axis would change very frequently and climate change would be very rapid and would limit would evolution could produce.

      Anyhow, random facts there but it is mind boggling. I didn’t go into that much detail on facebook due to the character limit but fellow atheists need to know the whole picture.

      But yeah, I have religious righters on my facebook friend list so I am not 100% open about my atheism on there. I can’t convert if they flat out delete me. But people check facebook daily so I mention things that make people think. I have people tell me that I can talk about a subject most people find boring and make it interesting. My dad’s first cousin learned all about astronomy just from sitting around a bonfire with me around.

      • http://www.myspace.com/DD_NU4EVER Diana

        I have to say that you do make science more interesting…if that is at all possible. Science, the exploration of our own world, is the single greatest achievement of humankind, how can it not boggle the mind, and inspire our imaginations?

        It took me 5, I say 5! hours to write that response to my aunt. I must have rewritten that thing like ten times…I had to acknowledged my faults, and informing her, without sounding like I’m informing her, standing my ground without killing her’s but still punching holes in her logic, and making sure she knew I love and admire her…Damn

        Maybe I should have attacked her political views, but I figured they were influenced by her religion, which I already attacked, sort of, and racism, which I cant help her with…Hate is something I can’t cure in other people…

        • http://www.myspace.com/DD_NU4EVER Diana

          WOW, I just wrote that response with some crazy errors…I really need to read over what I write before I submit it…I’m such a dork

        • http://myspace.com/scott888 Scott

          I’ve taken long periods of time to write some posts too. But you find while writing posts, you tend to find new details in your argument you never saw before.

          I just went to your page to see if your aunt responded. You got a very positive response from her for she was in awe over how well thought out the information you shared with her was.

          • diana

            I’m so darn pleased. I was afraid she would be upset. She might be a bit….off, but she has saved my life twice. I love that silly woman.

  • Farley Brite

    “I never meant to say that the Conservatives are generally stupid. I meant to say that stupid people are generally Conservative. I believe that is so obviously and universally admitted a principle that I hardly think any gentleman will deny it.”
    ~ J. S. Mills

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  • ShaunPhilly

    I had many of the same thoughts when I read about this. There may have been better ways to make the point, and perhaps this would be better geared towards college students, but this essay assignment is a good exercise.

    • http://skepticink.com/dangeroustalk Dangerous Talk

      I was in 10th grade when my teacher gave the lesson on McCarthyism. I think a high school honors class should be able to to deal with this material. This teacher should get a raise. Instead, she will likely be forced to resign.

  • Michael

    The page provided at the end isn’t available now. Just saving you time if you look at the comments before clicking links.