Behind the Magic of Love
Well, Valentines Day is approaching and I am starting to get a lot of e-mails claiming that love is magical and some how proof of God, so I thought I would talk a little about love and attraction. Love and attraction are actually more like a science and so I thought that the best way to help demonstrate that is to talk about how to make ourselves more appealing to others romantically… it being Valentines Day and all. Both men and women are generally attracted to the same traits. Men are also generally more stimulated by physical looks than women are, but personality traits still play the major role. Women generally have more partners seeking their attention than men do, so in general women are able to sit back more and allow prospective partners to compete for their attention.
Most men and women will agree that the personality traits they find most attractive in a partner are Confidence, Humor, and a little Mystery. The real trick is learning how to balance these traits and to demonstrate them to prospective partners. Some people try to act overly confident, overly funny, and overly mysterious and end up just looking like an asshole, a clown, and/or a paranoid wacko. Sometimes these traits seem too forced or too fake. I don’t think people should pretend to be confident, funny, or mysterious but rather that they should learn how to be more confident, funny, and a little mysterious people. Also, when I say mysterious, I mean someone who can surprise their partner every now and then, not someone who hides their life away. That person would just be a paranoid wacko.
There is that old saying that says to just be yourself. But what does that really mean? For a long time I tried to figure that out and the best way I can explain it now is to say that you should act like the person you are interested in is already a good friend and think about how you would act with someone you have known for a long time.
If you are already in a relationship or already married like me, you may think that this advice is wasted on you, but it isn’t. We should always try to improve ourselves and to continue to make ourselves more attractive to our partner. Good relationships and good marriages last when the people involved continue to be attracted to each other and fall in love with each other every day.
Filed under: sex
