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Jesus For President!

Yesterday, Jessica over at the FriendlyAtheist wrote about how there is a crazy website promoting a write-in campaign for Jesus. I thought it would be fun to talk about all the reasons why Jesus can’t be President.

For starters, it is unlikely that Jesus was even a real person. Despite even Bart Ehrman’s claim that Jesus was a real person he has stated in a recent debate:

“In the entire first Christian Century, Jesus is not mentioned by a single Greek or Roman historian, religion scholar, politician, philosopher or poet. His name never occurs in a single inscription, and it is never found in a single piece of private correspondence. Zero! Zip references!”

Let’s assume that Jesus was a real person. He still couldn’t be President on account of the fact that he would be dead!

Let’s say for the sake of argument that Jesus lives forever as the Holy Spirit. According to the Christian “scholars” Jesus was born about 4 CE and died in the year 33 CE. Let’s do the math there. If we carry the 5, we are left with Jesus’s human age at 29 years. In order to be President, you must be 35 years of age. So Jesus isn’t old enough to be President.

Okay, you want to start at his birth age and continue it to today? Fine! What country was Jesus born in? Oh, he wasn’t born in the United States? Well guess what? He can’t be President of the United States unless he was born here. Just ask Donald Trump. I want to see his birth certificate!

With all that said, I want Bill Keller of votingforjesus.com to go forward. Please, tell all your Christian right friends to vote for Jesus. Direct them to the website. While I have made it clear that I don’t think Obama is nearly as progressive as I like, I want to see Christians wasting their vote on an imaginary candidate that even fictionally can’t hold office. I must admit though that I secretly want Jesus to win so that when he fails to come to the swearing in ceremony we can all point and laugh. More evidence that God is imaginary; he wouldn’t even let his son take office.

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