{"id":2671,"date":"2011-12-23T07:52:21","date_gmt":"2011-12-23T12:52:21","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.dangeroustalk.net\/?p=2671"},"modified":"2011-12-23T07:52:21","modified_gmt":"2011-12-23T12:52:21","slug":"twas-the-blog-before-christmas%e2%80%a6","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"http:\/\/www.dangeroustalk.net\/?p=2671","title":{"rendered":"Twas The Blog Before Christmas\u2026"},"content":{"rendered":"

Twas the blog before Christmas, when all through the blogosphere
\nEvery atheist was stirring, even Christopher Hitchens was here.
\nThe banners, signs, and billboards were hung by the cr\u00e8che with care,
\nIn hopes that Dr. Dawkins would soon would be there.<\/p>\n

The children were nestled all snug in their beds,
\nWhile visions of the Flying Spaghetti Monster dancing in their heads.
\nAnd Stephen Hawking with his robotic tone, and I with my Kindle,
\nExciting my brain for a long winter\u2019s cosmology riddle.<\/p>\n

When out on the lawn there arose such a clatter,
\nI sprang from the bed to see what was the matter.
\nAway to the window I flew like a the Wright brothers,
\nTore off my boxers and threw up the covers.<\/p>\n

My frontal moon on the breast of the new-fallen rain,
\nGave the lustre of distain to those who are sexually constrained.
\nWhen, what to my wondering eyes should appear,
\nBut an annoying politician, and eight homophobia Christians coming near.<\/p>\n

With a little old preacher, so lively and quick,
\nI knew in a moment he must be a prick.
\nMore vapid than reasoned his angry slurs came,
\nAnd he whistled, and shouted, and called me many an ugly name!<\/p>\n

“You Satanist! You slut! You communist and Nazi!
\nYou heathen! You homo! You enemy of orthodoxy!
\nGet out of this country, you are making it unwell!
\nNow dash away! Dash away! Dash away before we send you to Hell!”<\/p>\n

And then, in a twinkling, I heard on my computer,
\nThe reasoning and sound arguments of many a YouTuber.
\nAs I drew in my head, and was turning around,
\nThere over my speakers, Hitchens was the sound.<\/p>\n

The microphone in hand tight to his lips,
\nhis voice was steady as he refuted the apocalypse.
\nHe had a broad face and a slightly round belly,
\nHe pointed when he laughed and called his opponent Machiavelli!<\/p>\n

He was witty and articulate, a right jolly guy,
\nAnd I laughed when I saw him, in spite of the passersby!
\nA wink of his eye and a twist of his head,
\nSoon gave me to know I had nothing to dread.<\/p>\n

He spoke such fantastic words and went straight to his work,
\nHe eviscerated his opponent, then called him out as a jerk.
\nLaying my finger onto my mouse,
\nI give a nod and turned toward the window of the house.<\/p>\n

I sprang into debate, refuting their God with a shout,
\nAnd away they all ran, out of the fear of their own doubt.
\nBut I yelled and exclaimed, before they ran out of sight,
\n“Happy Holidays to all, and to all a good-night<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

 <\/p>\n

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